NCAA, The Snuggie picks Duke?

24 03 2009

I’ve talked about it before, but it needs to be put to bed. Literally. 

The Snuggie. I have come to terms with the fact that my dreams of the Snuggie hybrid are not going to be realized: The Snuggie made entirely out of ShamWows. Yes, The ShamWomForter. I know that my dream innovation might not be “cost effective” but something last week made me question the entire Blanket-Robe Industry. I went to Target and saw a Snuggie on the shelf. Who decided it was ready for retail? I guess the American public. But where was the online vote for Royal Blue as the color to achieve mass production?

I guarantee you Barack Obama doesn't have a Duke Blue Snuggie. Roy either.

I blog from deep inside Tar Heel country. And we’re in the middle of the NCAA Tournament. A contest where our own President Obama has picked the Tar Heels to win it all. Now, I’m not exactly saying a Carolina Blue Snuggie would be worn with pride (or even purchased in the first place), but no God-fearing Basketball fan in Chapel Hill would even think to purchase a Duke Blue Snuggie. And would a Blue Devil even think to purchase a $20 blanket with sleeves? I don’t think so.

I think The Snuggie has knowingly moved to subvert my 2009 NCAA brackets simply by entering the retail market. By creating a more relaxed Tournament viewing atmosphere — I mean, who can truly support the game of basketball from inside a sleeved-blanket? Nobody. The Snuggie has started THE END OF DAYS.

Call up Arnold Schwarzenegger (click to follow the Terminator on Twitter) and let’s start to fight back. In fact, I think The Snuggie might be preparing the Human populace for the uprising of Skynet. Imagine that Skynet turns to strike, Imagine The Snuggie turns to cocoon its victim, You! It could happen. Ok, maybe too far.

Anyway… Go Heels! Good luck Carolina. And good luck America.

– Mister Zach Ward

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24 03 2009

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