What I Plan To Do The Weekend After Wall Street Exploded

17 09 2008

Wall Street exploded, didja hear?  And as Paul Krugman suggests that 1931 part deux is possible, I’m making my plans for the weekend.  Here’s my tentative list for what I plan to do the weekend after Wall Street exploded:

1)  I will draft a series of regulations on intra-apartment spending.  Steps must be made to avoid a repeat of the “hey, I really need a PS3!” crisis of early March.

2)  I will dig up the gold bullion in the back yard, then bury it even deeper.

3)  I will create my own currency.  I will invariably get hung up on deciding which letter of the alphabet to draw two lines through for the currency’s sign.  Lots of time will also be spent on Facebook trying to find the perfect picture of myself for the front of the bill.  But after those two crucial decisions, I will make myself a millionaire, if my girlfriend’s ink jet printer holds out.

4)  I will sell bonds to China to finance a crucial infrastructure project, the procurement and installation of a claw-foot bathtub.

5)  I will dick around with interest rates (duh).

-Mister Andy Lavender

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