Olympics Shmo-lympics: I want to see a man fight a bear!

18 08 2008

Olympics Shmo-lympics: I want to see a man fight a bear!

Ron Artez Where are you?

Ron Artez Where are you?

I wish I was interested in the Olympics. I wish that I could spend hours of my day captivated by sports I don’t care about.  Then I could yell “Go Phelps” with the rest of America at bars all across the country. My problem with the Olympics is: I don’t care about these sports, I don’t care about the people playing, and I don’t care much for sports that don’t involve violence.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t enjoy violence. Wait – that’s not true at all. I actually love violence. (You had me right the first time.) And, the vast majority of sporting events that I’m interested in all involve punching, kicking, and/or tackling. And, the best sports involve some combination of all 3.

But the problem is greater than the fact I am simply “bored” by the Olympics.  I am frustrated that it appears the Olympics of old were far more compelling. The Olympics today are too safe. We weep over hamstring pulls, reversed elbows, and failed steroid tests, as if the world was coming to an end. But, the world is not coming to an end. You know what the world coming to an end looks like, back in the old days of the Olympics, if you did not win (or got bronze) the king killed your family or the tiger you had to wrestle ate you alive.

I can’t stand Ultimate Fighting Championship series for the same reason.

I’m just saying, if you’re going to bill yourself as the Ultimate of anything it should be difficult for someone to come up with a more challenging version of your sport. But, whenever I turn on Ultimate Fighting and see two guys fighting in the ring I think to myself “ehh, the producers could do better.”  The Ultimate Fight I want to see is one giant guy, fighting 13 little people to the death; or, a person with a broken leg, fighting a bear with a shot-gun. Now that would be a challenge, and something I would pay 50 bucks to see on pay-per-view.

-Mister Joe Jones




One response

2 09 2008
Ian Louw

I share your sentiment on the Olympics! Yawn…..

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