R Kelly’s Untitled

Every once in a while something truly extraordinary happens that makes comedians extremely happy.   It happened this week.  R Kelly released his latest album called “Untitled“.   Isn’t this basically begging us to name it for him?  

1.  For this one I didn’t even have to try.  I just looked for inspiration within the album itself.   Clearly the perfect title is right there, and it is the title of one the album’s singles.   Call the album “Number One“.

2.  Again, I looked at the album songs and found yet another totally appropriate title.  This time it was the UK bonus track, “Fallin’ from the Sky“.  I’m beginning to think R might be messing with us a little.

3. Last one from looking at the album.  Call it “B my # 2“.

4. This one was a little more challenging, but I just thought about the man’s work, his legacy.  Call it, “Trapped in the Closet, Minor in D“.

5. This one might be off the beat and path, but I think it captures this album’s essence and some of his more notable works, call it  “Ur in 2 me“.

- Mister Paula Pazderka

Dear Dave Chappelle

Dear Dave Chappelle,

It has been over two years, since we rendezvoused regularly and now I’ve watched your DVDs so many times you might as well be on TV land. I miss your freshness. Speaking of freshness, what does a gal have to do to get a Roca Pad around here?

I just want to know what you would do with things, and laugh. Did you see R Kelly was acquitted? Would you have done a remix of your remix? And what about the presidential race, Barrack and Hillary? Eliot Spitzer? That astronaut diaper lady? Freeing Tibet?

I miss your white people and your black people. Buddy, I just miss you. If I could ask Paul Mooney a question, it would be: What would have to happen to have Dave come back? Or maybe a better question would be: What would I have to do to have Dave come back? Or what would MISTER DIPLOMAT have to do? I hear Zach Ward is one mean spooner. Have you ever been spooned by a white guy? If you want to try it, I am sure Zach would totally be game. He would do it for the sake of comedy. Zach would do anything for the sake of comedy. I mean anything. Think about it Dave, anything.

You wouldn’t have to go back to Comedy Central. You could come to Carrboro. That’s right, North Carolina. You could stay with me and perform at DSI. After shows, we could go walk back to my house and drink Arnold Palmers. Dave, it would be fabulous. Drop me an email when you’re ready. I’m waiting.

-Mister Paula Pazderka